So, in my brief stent of getting to work on the Labor and Delivery unit for an internship while I was still in school, I followed a nurse around all summer and I got to see...a lot. It was an incredible experience and at first pretty shocking, but never got old seeing that unmistakably miraculous event take place over and over again, and seeing the reactions of the overwhelming joy from the parents as this took place. BUT I will not be completely skim over the realness of that process and just how shocking it was to witness it! I remember describing it to my college housemates at the time as- the most unnatural natural process I have ever seen. Truth.
Well...I have just witnessed, and am still witnessing, one of the most unnatural unnatural processes ever.
So, my sister and brother-in-law decided to and have been in the process of adopting two boys from the tiny African country of Rwanda. I've had the incredible opportunity to come with them on this 3 week adventure to meet the two precious boys, get them, get all of the official court and embassy things done (phew! What a process!) to officially adopt them and finally in just about a day be able to bring them into the U.S. as U.S. citizens. What a day that will be! It has been about a 2 year process of lots of paperwork, waiting, home studies, waiting, more paperwork, more waiting, and waiting...and finally found out in the last couple of months they were approved by the Rwandan government to adopt two boys.
So my previous statement about the process I have had the opportunity to witness probably sounded awful and negative, and I don't mean it that way. I do mean it in a very real and honest way. First of all, I keep getting asked, 'so, are you glad you came on this trip?' It's been exhausting and challenging in many ways I didn't even expect, so my initial reaction is hesitant, but once I think about it more than about 3 seconds...my response is, 'Most. definitely. It has been no doubt an HONOR, a blessing, and quite an eye-opening experience to witness all of this firsthand. I would have been foolish not to be a part of this experience and get to experience life and God in a completely new and different way (not to mention getting to spend time with this really special family and getting to know and love my two newest nephews SO well before heading off for my trip to Latin America).' But this process of adoption is challenging and messy and hard and seemingly impossible at times (and I'm not even the one actually going through it or being directly affected by it!) But the basic truth is...the world was not meant to be this way! Which is why this is such a messy, unnatural process. It was not intended originally that there would be kids who were abandoned, for whatever reason- whether it was their parents just didn't feel like they could care for them, or they were selfish and didn't want to, or they were seriously sick and unable to care for them, or they had died because of some other natural cause or injustice- and some strangers would come and volunteer to take care of and raise some other strangers. Orphans and adoption is an unnatural thing. These are a result of our sinful state and what this earth is like right now due to the fall of mankind. But it's also a basic truth that that is a part of the world we live in, and in the scriptures God gave us, he tells us over and over again what our role is in that.
Job 29:11-12, “Whoever heard me spoke well of me, and those who saw me commended me, because I rescued the poor who cried for help, and the fatherless who had none to assist him.”
Galatians 4:4-7, “But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth his Son, born of a women, born under the Law, so that he might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘ABBA, Father!’ Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.”
Going into this process and even just this trip, I had many of my own personal thoughts and opinions about adoption in general (and I guess specifically from sub-Saharan Africa). In my limited experiences of getting to visit various parts of Africa and experience the different cultures, the thing that struck me the most was the people I got to interact with and their pure joy despite having practically nothing (materialistically) relative to what I was used to. So the idea of coming and taking two boys out of a simple and joyful life I was almost envious was not the only life I ever knew, seemed almost crazy and I was slightly hesitant of/had mixed feelings about. But of course, the actual situation has been way different than my silly little mind could have imagined. That simple, joyful life I was envious of from previous experiences was not the life Lincoln and Levi (and many other kids) were living. It was definitely simple, and I'm sure joyful at times...but it was a life I would not wish for anyone to live for years, or months, or days, and especially not that it would be the only life you ever knew (as it had been for Lincoln and Levi).
The verse from Job hits particularly hard thinking of Lincoln and Levi seeing where they came from, what they are immersed in now, and watching their little selves try to process what in the world is going on- and esp knowing they have been heartbreakingly fatherless and motherless and just not loved or cared for as a child should be. The life they have known has been living behind a gate in a small, dark, concrete building with concrete walls and floors, no lights that I could see, a smell I will never forget, and many many other kids crammed into this orphanage being cared for by nuns and some Rwandan ladies that love them so much and cared for them as best they could but clearly just did not have enough hands to keep up with feedings and diaper changes let alone fun and discipline and the attention kids need. Seeing this group of kids and little babies packed away in this little concrete building, eating sustaining (but honestly very disgusting looking) porridge, some standing in cribs completely soiled, others just laying lifeless in cribs hit hard. These were not kids that just didn't live in America (which is not the most terrible thing ever) or JUST didn't have parents, these were kids that were basically surviving, had no opportunity to experience the fullness of life on this earth, and had probably been outside of the orphanage grounds MAYBE a handful of times. They were not living in or getting to truly experience life in their incredible, beautiful, joyful country of Rwanda.
In just these (almost) three weeks, my mind has been blown watching a family go through the challenging, sweet, messy, joyful, sacrificial, hard (unnatural) process...but be confidently in the midst of God's will and what He's called them to because of their obedience to what God tells us in general about our role as Christians in caring for orphans AND their obedience in what God has specifically called their family to.
There have been seriously sweet, joyful, and incredible moments, but mixed into the real, messy, complicated, difficult moments that naturally come along with bringing two new people into a family at the same time, that have not known discipline, or stability, or consistent loving parents trying to exhibit Christ's love, that have never had to figure out how to be a part of a family, have never had a possession of their own (which explains Lincoln's obsession with HIS backpack and HIS nalgene water bottle), and do not speak any English (except for of course the robotic 'I am fine, fank you' response they were taught to the common question, how are you?).
These are two seriously special boys, joining an incredible family that is so clearly seeking to live out life here on this earth intentionally, sacrificially, and to the best they know how to further God's kingdom here on earth as He's called us to. I appreciate Pat and Courtney inviting me along and allowing me to see the ins and outs of this craziness. I so admire and respect who they are and the way they take on the challenges of living life, being parents, being married and all that entails.
There will hopefully be a post following this one very shortly...slightly more lighthearted:) with some more details about the trip and some of the hilarious stories that have had us laughing until we cry.
